omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize