Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
