Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
