so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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