i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
