Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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