in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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