that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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