1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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