idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
