You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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