What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
