I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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