And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
