I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
