and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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