he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
