what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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