I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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