windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
