I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
