I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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