that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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