rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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