right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
