I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
