he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
