are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
