In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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