She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
