Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?

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  (337): but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp? http://tfl.nu/p1my
  Replies (28) Good night (1230) Bad night (5829)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.

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  (214): You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle. http://tfl.nu/y634
  Replies (14) Good night (4275) Bad night (1184)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.

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  (512): just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification. http://tfl.nu/d300
  Replies (12) Good night (6082) Bad night (959)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.

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  (919): he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'. http://tfl.nu/h82o
  Replies (13) Good night (3745) Bad night (1200)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

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  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (1224) Bad night (3773)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love

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  (732): she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love http://tfl.nu/knwu
  Replies (35) Good night (12507) Bad night (1221)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.

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  (224): Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little. http://tfl.nu/kc37
  Replies (16) Good night (1783) Bad night (2705)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  no more duck duck goose at the bar

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  (484): no more duck duck goose at the bar http://tfl.nu/05y7
  Replies (6) Good night (2353) Bad night (851)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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  (406): Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit. http://tfl.nu/3sfk
  Replies (14) Good night (3585) Bad night (746)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.

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  (505): I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking. http://tfl.nu/gybt
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (1002)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self

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  (514): She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self http://tfl.nu/l5li
  Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (612)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?

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  (586): So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college? http://tfl.nu/tyby
  Replies (6) Good night (1436) Bad night (432)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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  (785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm
  Replies (4) Good night (970) Bad night (314)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could

  (1306): View more from

  well, that escalated quicky

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  (306): he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could (1306): well, that escalated quicky http://tfl.nu/lv5m
  Replies (5) Good night (1233) Bad night (314)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.

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  (845): Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus. http://tfl.nu/x306
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (830)

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