Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

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(703): View more from Virginia

She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.

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23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies

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(804): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.

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