Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon