Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.

(402): View more from Nebraska

Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?

(913): View more from Kansas

Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.

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(913): I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body. (402): Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days? (913): Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm. http://tfl.nu/rpz1

Replies (13) Good night (1503) Bad night (992)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

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(919): I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again. http://tfl.nu/8soy

Replies (13) Good night (665) Bad night (2914)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City

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(609): Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City http://tfl.nu/hsks

Replies (64) Good night (4915) Bad night (464)
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(613): View more from Ontario

If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

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(613): If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough. http://tfl.nu/noke

Replies (8) Good night (1242) Bad night (3529)
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(239): View more from Florida

i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

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(239): i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass http://tfl.nu/a9ff

Replies (12) Good night (3910) Bad night (1013)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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(860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb

Replies (24) Good night (5297) Bad night (995)
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(925): View more from California

I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

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(925): I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too http://tfl.nu/v7gc

Replies (12) Good night (1598) Bad night (921)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.

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(519): I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes. http://tfl.nu/2r4g

Replies (12) Good night (2296) Bad night (528)
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(631): View more from New York

The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.

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(631): The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute. http://tfl.nu/4jz7

Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (893)
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(315): View more from New York

What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?

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(315): What's a good pandora station to masturbate to? http://tfl.nu/c2un

Replies (8) Good night (577) Bad night (978)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?

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(612): She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy? http://tfl.nu/le82

Replies (16) Good night (1050) Bad night (750)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care

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(918): I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care http://tfl.nu/shwc

Replies (1) Good night (1325) Bad night (324)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.

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(519): I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again. http://tfl.nu/4ugu

Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (494)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

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(402): Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter http://tfl.nu/7i88

Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (253)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.

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(864): I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish. http://tfl.nu/j2sb

Replies (4) Good night (203) Bad night (500)

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