I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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