Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
