Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
