part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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