dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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