I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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