Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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