Do you still have your period?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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