he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
