I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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