the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
