Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
