i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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