just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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