so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low