Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(714): View more from California

Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix? http://tfl.nu/0vla

Replies (153) Good night (3460) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy? http://tfl.nu/swws

Replies (17) Good night (5220) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse. http://tfl.nu/nlhf

Replies (41) Good night (30897) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this? http://tfl.nu/o9lt

Replies (37) Good night (13256) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before http://tfl.nu/47j4

Replies (16) Good night (3635) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone http://tfl.nu/6uha

Replies (5) Good night (1935) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship. http://tfl.nu/wcss

Replies (8) Good night (1906) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(403): I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time http://tfl.nu/r2ul

Replies (12) Good night (2318) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(361): View more from Texas

Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(361): Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/3skp

Replies (2) Good night (1749) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever. http://tfl.nu/nvjj

Replies (22) Good night (3528) Bad night (900)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today. (603): Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me. http://tfl.nu/6wu2

Replies (3) Good night (2598) Bad night (466)
Favorite
(305): View more from Florida

You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(305): You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos. http://tfl.nu/9yd3

Replies (5) Good night (526) Bad night (1178)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it http://tfl.nu/st9u

Replies (5) Good night (965) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Last time i carry you out of a forest

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Last time i carry you out of a forest http://tfl.nu/h410

Replies (8) Good night (818) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!! http://tfl.nu/jit9

Replies (8) Good night (895) Bad night (214)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: