I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.