Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  dude, you're being a jerk.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney

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  (704): dude, you're being a jerk. (919): sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney http://tfl.nu/o9rt
  Replies (6) Good night (947) Bad night (560)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase

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  (703): nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase http://tfl.nu/yg43
  Replies (11) Good night (4634) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

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  (973): maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/v1t4
  Replies (40) Good night (5350) Bad night (576)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.

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  (240): We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit. http://tfl.nu/8ktk
  Replies (18) Good night (3209) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.

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  (770): I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out. http://tfl.nu/bqmt
  Replies (8) Good night (2111) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours

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  (419): You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours http://tfl.nu/i7uw
  Replies (2) Good night (2147) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training

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  (315): as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training http://tfl.nu/gwbi
  Replies (5) Good night (1652) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.

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  (970): Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them. http://tfl.nu/rk1i
  Replies (9) Good night (1612) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying

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  (250): I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying http://tfl.nu/ewgt
  Replies (10) Good night (2358) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

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  (804): Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body! http://tfl.nu/7w2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.

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  (563): I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/l7dr
  Replies (7) Good night (1475) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!

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  (804): I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow! http://tfl.nu/cfk1
  Replies (10) Good night (2271) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue

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  (303): Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue http://tfl.nu/w6vq
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.

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  (218): In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first. http://tfl.nu/gyje
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?

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  (440): How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!? http://tfl.nu/0sun
  Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (461)

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