So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
