I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."