If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
