i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
