Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
