I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
