Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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