I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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