What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize