margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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