If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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