Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
