I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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