things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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