Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
