Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
