I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
