Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
