I feel great
I just peed on a car
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
